Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Long days

Four months since my last post. Four longggg months. How did I lose track so quickly? Sheesh!
This past month has been hellacious, not only in my life but also in the lives of those I care about. My oldest friend ever is having some heartwrenching hills on this roller coaster of Life and I feel powerless that I can't help in some way. I hope she knows that my heart is with her and that I'm sending her strength in waves.
My younger brother is making some incredibly bad choices right now and it's both breaking my heart and scaring the living crap out of me. A week and a half ago, his gf was in the process of breaking up with him so he decided it would be smart to tell her he had a gun, then hold her and their oldest daughter essentially hostage in her car. He finally directed her to get gas and after taking her keys and cell phone from her, got out to pump it. She then used her spare key to speed away, door hanging open. She raced to the Sheriff's office, snatched their daughter out of the car and ran inside.
He was arrested for domestic violence and put into jail, where he proceeded to slit his wrists the next day. He used a razor that they give the inmates to shave with and then lay bleeding out a couple of pints of blood until he was finally found. They sent him to the ER, then transferred him over to a psych unit in Massillon until this last Friday. He's back in county lockup, waiting to see if they're going to charge him with felony domestic violence (as this is his 3rd d.v. charge), among other charges. The life choices he's making are self destructive, as well as dangerous to everyone around him. He was completely sober when he did these things and he did them in front of his daughter, which is the absolute worst. This little girl is only 3!!!!!
My mother and I have been having stupid arguments over this. She feels that I'm siding against my brother but in reality, I'm siding with his daughters. I love my brother and he needs to get healthy and be around for them, needs to be the best dad he can be because that's what THEY deserve. It's not just about him anymore.
Saturday was spent in the ER because I was vomiting for 10 hrs straight, every hour on the hour, a la The Exorcist. They did a CT scan and discovered I have gallstones and a distended gallbladder. Feb. 8th I see a surgeon to schedule a date to have it taken out. Oh. JOY.
I so don't have time for this!
Hubby is on vacation this week and has been very nice to me. In fact, the last while has been going very smoothly. It's been nice. I see effort on his behalf and it's nice not to be the only one trying.
My sons are doing well, for the most part. Bran took his permit test today and passed. I had to stop and re-read that again. How is it possible? Where has time gone?? It's very bittersweet. He's doing everything he's supposed to be doing, growing up in leaps and bounds. I'm very proud of him and yet he's still my baby. He's still my earnest little boy...just taller than me now, and shaving...and soon, driving. *sigh*
Good thing I'm good at handling rollercoasters, right?
Humorous tidbit, just to remind myself in later years: my 80 something grandfather is going on a date this weekend with a woman who went to school with my 50 something father and sees NOTHING wrong with this picture...oh, my.