It's been a tough week here.
Work-wise, I've had chaos across the map and it's under my skin. Yesterday I had to fire a driver, which resulted in some pretty big confrontations. Anyone who knows me well knows I don't like confrontation and I tend to avoid at all costs. There was no avoiding this mess. He was up in my face, cussing like sailor and there was no backing down. I seriously thought at one point he was going to throw a punch. Thankfully, it ended with temper tantrums and stomping out but my adrenaline was through the roof, leaving me shaking once I started to come down. And it's put me in a weird head space today.
Well...that and the other chaos in my life.
I have an interest in someone who is extremely difficult to read and he's not forthcoming about what he's feeling, if he's feeling anything. I'm really...confused. We laugh a lot, talk frequently, have sexual chemistry like crazy and yet I feel like he's holding back.
And what is it with me being interested in emotionally unavailable guys?
There are a couple who have more than hinted at wanting to get to know me better and while I've entertained that idea, even gone so far as to really getting to know them and spending lots of time in conversation....the initial closed down fellow resonates with me. I just have to figure out if that resonation comes from an actual connection or my unhealthy need to meet a challenge like this.
I'm...tired. Deep down dark tired. I'm lonely and I miss snuggles.
I'm...being pursued by a man in a poly relationship and while I like this man, I just don't think I'm poly material.
I'm...tired of being in a holding pattern. I want my life to move forward.
Work-wise, I've had chaos across the map and it's under my skin. Yesterday I had to fire a driver, which resulted in some pretty big confrontations. Anyone who knows me well knows I don't like confrontation and I tend to avoid at all costs. There was no avoiding this mess. He was up in my face, cussing like sailor and there was no backing down. I seriously thought at one point he was going to throw a punch. Thankfully, it ended with temper tantrums and stomping out but my adrenaline was through the roof, leaving me shaking once I started to come down. And it's put me in a weird head space today.
Well...that and the other chaos in my life.
I have an interest in someone who is extremely difficult to read and he's not forthcoming about what he's feeling, if he's feeling anything. I'm really...confused. We laugh a lot, talk frequently, have sexual chemistry like crazy and yet I feel like he's holding back.
And what is it with me being interested in emotionally unavailable guys?
There are a couple who have more than hinted at wanting to get to know me better and while I've entertained that idea, even gone so far as to really getting to know them and spending lots of time in conversation....the initial closed down fellow resonates with me. I just have to figure out if that resonation comes from an actual connection or my unhealthy need to meet a challenge like this.
I'm...tired. Deep down dark tired. I'm lonely and I miss snuggles.
I'm...being pursued by a man in a poly relationship and while I like this man, I just don't think I'm poly material.
I'm...tired of being in a holding pattern. I want my life to move forward.