Family

My family is a difficult one. I have one older brother, one younger brother and a sister young enough to be my own child. Because we have a strain of mental illness in our family a million miles long, most of my family has a lot of issues. My mother and both brothers are bipolar and not one of them takes meds as they should. Instead, they self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
In addition to that, they're all highly dysfunctional. My mother had a very troubled childhood and spent 17 years with a man who beat the crap out of her every weekend. My stepfather also had a troubled childhood and was in and out of prison many times. My little brother and I grew up listening to the fighting, watching the alcohol flow and the abuse happen. My younger brother has since had his own brushes with trouble. He'll turn 25 this year and is currently facing over a year in jail because of an FTA charge, as well as an assault charge (after having had many more previous charges).
My mother called me this morning, in a panic, because he'd been pulled over and they were taking him to jail. She wanted me to help her get his pickup so that it wasn't impounded but because they boys hadn't left for school yet, I said no. I've been telling them both since he moved back to our state that he needed to turn himself in and just get it behind him.
I've struggled most of my life because I'm the rock. I'm the one everyone leans on and there have been many, many days where I've tired of this role.
I'm learning, though, to uphold my boundaries, to not give in when they've made yet another bad choice and want me to help bail them out (sometimes literally!).
I could have asked the neighbor to put the boys on the bus. Instead, I took the opportunity to let them figure out their own options and I put my own little family first (something that, as ridiculous as it sounds, is really difficult sometimes).
Unfortunately, I couldn't choose the family I was born into but I can choose how I let them impact me and how I deal with them now. That's one of the best parts of being an adult now. I have more personal power and more choices.
I'm also trying to teach my sons by example that it's okay to stand up for yourself, to be assertive without being aggressive. I want to break this horrid cycle that's cloaked my family for so long. I guess it has to start somewhere and it might just have to be with me.