The older I get, the more I realize how very important perspective is. Our outlook changes everything. I read somewhere that when you focus on the negative, that's what you attract and while I don't know if that's wholly true, I can say that, for me, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: when I focus on the negative, it's literally all I see. All the positive little flares of light are dimmed and fall out of view and I become steeped in the dark and gloom. I don't know if this is true of everyone or if I am blessed with a streak of melancholy but what I've come to believe that I also need these "down" times to resurface into a mind-space of appreciation and joy. I need introspective moments in order to re-evaluate ME and refocus on my blessings. Maybe it's that age old yin and yang thing, where you have to have bad to balance the good and for comparison.
Life today is on an upswing. The weather is having a break, with temps expected around 60 for the next three days and anyone who knows me, knows that Spring and Fall are my absolute favorite times of year. Again with the comparison/yin and yang. Rebirth in the Spring, fresh blooms, greening up, sun-kissed days neither too warm or too cold, the scents of warm earth and clean air. Laying to rest in the Fall, crisper air and temps, russets and oranges and plums, like we're putting the world to sleep for a bit.
The boys are holding steady: Bran has finally given up on Morgan (I think) which is a good thing for him. She's had him in a holding pattern for far too long in my book and it's time for him to start branching out and exploring his life on a real basis. Trev continues to be Trev, sometimes anti-social, sometimes a social butterfly. Ryan is restless, I think. He's looking for a new job because he's become dissatisfied at his current position. Seems restless with school too. I think he's feeling the need for some forward movement.
On the Nix front, I've spent some time recently talking with a very sweet man named Jason. No rush, no push, no expectation, just enjoying each other's company. I like him. He makes me smile and we laugh together every single day, which is a nice change of pace. I hope I make him smile too, and that seems to be the case. It's nice to be a source of sunshine in someone's life. I'm rebuilding the friendships that went fallow while I was with Dee and that's a good thing too. Lesson learned: no more ignoring red flags and no allowing someone to isolate me from those who only have my best interests at heart. While I can put some of that on Dee, I have my own culpability with it all. I allowed it to happen. I picked the wrong battles there. Work is chaotic as always but it's the nature of the business. I actually really thrive on the juggle of it all, the puzzle it presents.
It feels like a rebirth of sorts...and maybe it's because my perspective has shifted.
Life today is on an upswing. The weather is having a break, with temps expected around 60 for the next three days and anyone who knows me, knows that Spring and Fall are my absolute favorite times of year. Again with the comparison/yin and yang. Rebirth in the Spring, fresh blooms, greening up, sun-kissed days neither too warm or too cold, the scents of warm earth and clean air. Laying to rest in the Fall, crisper air and temps, russets and oranges and plums, like we're putting the world to sleep for a bit.
The boys are holding steady: Bran has finally given up on Morgan (I think) which is a good thing for him. She's had him in a holding pattern for far too long in my book and it's time for him to start branching out and exploring his life on a real basis. Trev continues to be Trev, sometimes anti-social, sometimes a social butterfly. Ryan is restless, I think. He's looking for a new job because he's become dissatisfied at his current position. Seems restless with school too. I think he's feeling the need for some forward movement.
On the Nix front, I've spent some time recently talking with a very sweet man named Jason. No rush, no push, no expectation, just enjoying each other's company. I like him. He makes me smile and we laugh together every single day, which is a nice change of pace. I hope I make him smile too, and that seems to be the case. It's nice to be a source of sunshine in someone's life. I'm rebuilding the friendships that went fallow while I was with Dee and that's a good thing too. Lesson learned: no more ignoring red flags and no allowing someone to isolate me from those who only have my best interests at heart. While I can put some of that on Dee, I have my own culpability with it all. I allowed it to happen. I picked the wrong battles there. Work is chaotic as always but it's the nature of the business. I actually really thrive on the juggle of it all, the puzzle it presents.
It feels like a rebirth of sorts...and maybe it's because my perspective has shifted.
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