My brother had his triple bypass this last week. I think we were all scared, him more than anyone, but he came out okay, off the ventilator in good time and as of yesterday, was resuming his humor and ornery old man demeanor. I'm relieved. We may not be super close but he's my big brother and I do love him. I worry about all my siblings like a Mother Hen, because it's always felt that's what I AM to them. I hope he continues to make good life choices so we don't have to revisit this place again anytime soon, but it's a relief that he came through and is on his road to recovery.
Dee opted to remove me from both her Facebooks, as well as removing the boys and just about anyone else associated with me, I think. She says it's because she was cleaning out the people she doesn't talk to often but in reality, it was me and my associates because she's readying for a visit with her new girl and wants to protect them or wants privacy. Regardless, she could have been honest because I really wanted to delete her myself but didn't want the drama. While it stung for about .00009 seconds, there was a bigger sense of relief. It feels like I've shed a winter coat in favor of a spring jacket in 60 degree weather. It's ...lighter.
Things with the boys are lighter as well. They are currently at a place of truce, no fighting over stupid video games or inconsequential details just to poke at one another. Ryan is feeling the pinch of having changed jobs and I think he's realizing that maybe it wasn't the best choice to have made but he's taking the adult route and moving forward. Trev's doing okay with his third shift, although it certainly is an adjustment both for him and the household. We don't tiptoe around all day but the flip side is that he also does not tiptoe around all night on the nights he's off. Bran is trying to adjust to his new full time hours but he's struggling a little to find a new norm. Time management is not his strong suit but I have faith he'll get there, with a little extra cheerleading. I guess when I was told a long time ago by my Grams that you have to deal with each one on their own level, she was right.
Work is...work. I was offered a position with ParentCompany, doing essentially what I'm doing now but with added responsibilities of title clerk but taking a pay cut. Granted, I'd have insurance (another expenditure though) and vacation time and NOT have to deal with RabidChihuahuaBoss but I can't afford to lose the kind of money each month this would entail. Not even for the relief of not having him on my back all the time. Onward and hopefully upward, I guess.
I'm sort of at loose ends on the personal end of my life spectrum. Lars and I dance around, enjoying each day as it comes without making any formal declarations of any sort. On one hand I think he very much likes my company and is becoming attached to me but I think he's afraid to hold onto that too tightly. For me, I'm just not willing to put pressure on anything. I have my own fears, I guess? We have fun. He makes me laugh every single day and while we have had differing opinions on some things, it hasn't reared into an actual disagreement or fight. He's sweet and thoughtful. I guess we have the benefit of time and patience so it's okay not to rush or push into something too serious too fast. It's like an odd sort of boxing but..more pleasant than that sounds. There are things I don't ask and maybe assuming will come back to bite me in the ass but at present time, I'm okay with NOT asking those questions because it allows me some freedoms of my own, I suppose. And after the mess with Dee? I'm gun-shy still. I may be that way for awhile yet and it's a relief to be able to give myself some grace and say it's okay to be that way, but not forever.
Dee opted to remove me from both her Facebooks, as well as removing the boys and just about anyone else associated with me, I think. She says it's because she was cleaning out the people she doesn't talk to often but in reality, it was me and my associates because she's readying for a visit with her new girl and wants to protect them or wants privacy. Regardless, she could have been honest because I really wanted to delete her myself but didn't want the drama. While it stung for about .00009 seconds, there was a bigger sense of relief. It feels like I've shed a winter coat in favor of a spring jacket in 60 degree weather. It's ...lighter.
Things with the boys are lighter as well. They are currently at a place of truce, no fighting over stupid video games or inconsequential details just to poke at one another. Ryan is feeling the pinch of having changed jobs and I think he's realizing that maybe it wasn't the best choice to have made but he's taking the adult route and moving forward. Trev's doing okay with his third shift, although it certainly is an adjustment both for him and the household. We don't tiptoe around all day but the flip side is that he also does not tiptoe around all night on the nights he's off. Bran is trying to adjust to his new full time hours but he's struggling a little to find a new norm. Time management is not his strong suit but I have faith he'll get there, with a little extra cheerleading. I guess when I was told a long time ago by my Grams that you have to deal with each one on their own level, she was right.
Work is...work. I was offered a position with ParentCompany, doing essentially what I'm doing now but with added responsibilities of title clerk but taking a pay cut. Granted, I'd have insurance (another expenditure though) and vacation time and NOT have to deal with RabidChihuahuaBoss but I can't afford to lose the kind of money each month this would entail. Not even for the relief of not having him on my back all the time. Onward and hopefully upward, I guess.
I'm sort of at loose ends on the personal end of my life spectrum. Lars and I dance around, enjoying each day as it comes without making any formal declarations of any sort. On one hand I think he very much likes my company and is becoming attached to me but I think he's afraid to hold onto that too tightly. For me, I'm just not willing to put pressure on anything. I have my own fears, I guess? We have fun. He makes me laugh every single day and while we have had differing opinions on some things, it hasn't reared into an actual disagreement or fight. He's sweet and thoughtful. I guess we have the benefit of time and patience so it's okay not to rush or push into something too serious too fast. It's like an odd sort of boxing but..more pleasant than that sounds. There are things I don't ask and maybe assuming will come back to bite me in the ass but at present time, I'm okay with NOT asking those questions because it allows me some freedoms of my own, I suppose. And after the mess with Dee? I'm gun-shy still. I may be that way for awhile yet and it's a relief to be able to give myself some grace and say it's okay to be that way, but not forever.
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