Monday, March 14, 2016

Rollercoaster weekend

I guess it was more than the weekend though. It technically was a whole week of rollercoasterishness. (Yes, a Nixism). Work last week was a bear, with an ebb and flow to the actual business that caused a few waves now and again. My boss...HE was the real issue. I think I drove home after work in tears 3 out of 5 days last week, with Friday being the absolute worst. There's nothing like being told, when you literally eat, sleep and breathe your job and put it neck and neck with your family, that it's not a priority, that you aren't good at it, that your boss doubts your commitment and you desire to see it succeed, that you're a liar and he's seriously considering replacing you with someone who cares.
I was so mad, I was shaking. I left work half an hour early because if I stayed, I was liable to say or do something to ensure I got fired. So mad, I squealed out of the parking lot. So mad I burst in to tears before I even hit my car. He's such an ass, upset over something caused by his OWN actions and lack of attentiveness. You can't tell people you're going to call them to rectify a situation then avoid them for weeks on end and expect there to be no fallout and that's exactly what he did. He's...an ass.
I cheered up a bit on Friday after talking with Kenz and Lars and peeps. It was already a hard day because it's the anniversary of my Grandmother's passing (10 years) and I swear I miss her more every day. I think I'm just at a stage in my life where I wish I could talk to her about everything that's going on and get her advice. I feel her absence keenly.
 Saturday brought a few errands, a rainy day that I loved, a BBQ with my drivers and their wives for my birthday on Sunday. They made me tear up. My drivers truly are the only family and friends I have out here beyond my sons. I bend over backwards to make things as easy for them as I can and they mean a lot to me, after 2 yrs working so closely. I've suffered through health issues with them and their children and wives, I've celebrated births and graduations and birthdays. They make me feel like I belong and that means more than I can ever say.
 Sunday dawned with flowers sent to me for my bday from Brandon, a card and a call from my mom with news that my baby sister Sissy is getting engaged. More errands, a tie rod being replaced by 2 of my drivers (thank goodness they were able to!), and bad news: my brother Kelly had a heart attack on Saturday and was taken by squad to a hospital in Cols, where they were going to do a heart catheter in order to assess damage. It's also my birthday and the anniversary of my Great Grandmother's passing. I swear, my birthday is cursed. *sighs* Lars was moody and sad, and all I wanted was comfort of my own so we spend time commiserating.
Lots and lots of good and bad this weekend, with not a lot on the even keel.
Here's hoping the rest of this week goes more smoothly. I think I've had my fill of peaks and valleys.

No comments: